Jack recognised him. In front of him was standing a man who had killed all of his family. There were many people around and Jock didn't know what he has to do. But Jack was very angry with him so he just took his gun out and shot at his heart. Showed up blood and a man fell on the ground. People around was shouting!!! bu doğru görünüyor mu?

Anlamıyorum

I meant a bit abnormal! So sorry for pressing the wrong button :( Your story has good imagery.

Try:

"In front of him was the man who killed his entire family."

"There was lots of people around and he didn't know what he had to do."

"Jack was very angry with him so he took his gun out and shot at his heart."

"Blood drew from him and the man fell on the ground."

"The people around were shouting!"

If you want me to explain some things just ask 😊

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Rusça

@stopthatsmine In you message you recommend me the text that sounds better, or you fixed my mistakes? :) In any case, thank you :)

Deleted user

Anlamıyorum

The third and fourth sentences I said sound better but the rest are just some corrections :)

Bu cevap yardımcı oldu mu?

Rusça

@stopthatsmine It's very difficult for me to write words in a right order...

Rusça

@stopthatsmine is it written correctly?
Death is worth to be alive
Love is worth to be waiting for

Deleted user

Anlamıyorum

Your English is very good and will only get better :)

Death is worth being alive.
Love is worth waiting for.

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Rusça

@stopthatsmine Thank you so much! You the best teacher I've ever met!! I really appreciate your help!
and my English is no good I am just using a dictionary :)

Deleted user

Anlamıyorum

You're welcome. Everyone uses a dictionary to learn languages, be sure to use the words you find often so you remember them! 😊

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Rusça

@stopthatsmine You from Ireland, but you looks like oriental girl. Why? :) Sorry for a private question

Deleted user

Anlamıyorum

@funkyjazzy2015 No problem. I was born in the Philippines but grew up in Ireland :)

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Rusça

@stopthatsmine I'm going to visit either Philippines or Thailand on my vocation in this spring.
Good Luck 🍀 to you ;)

Deleted user

Anlamıyorum

I hope you enjoy either! Feel free to ask me any questions if you choose to go Philippines 😊 Thailand is also wonderful

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Rusça

@stopthatsmine Hi! What do you think about it
Yesterday on the radio I listened to the fair tale told by guy who had played Sherlock Holmes. That story was about a little red hen, a cat, a rat and a dog. The hen asked other animals to help planting the wheat. They refused. Then the hen asked to help harvesting the crop. They refused. Then the hen asked them to help making the bread. They refused again. Then the Ken offered to eat the bread together. They agreed with happiness. But at this time the hen said no to them. It was such an instructive story.

Deleted user

Anlamıyorum

Yesterday on the radio I listened to a fairy tale told by the guy who (had) played Sherlock Holmes. That story was about a little red hen, a cat, a rat and a dog. The hen asked the other animals to help plant the wheat. They refused. Then the hen asked them to help harvest the crops. They refused. Then the hen asked them to help with making the bread. They refused again. Then the hen offered to eat the bread together. They agreed with happiness but-

?Please rephrase the last two sentences so I can get a better understanding?

() - optional
** - corrections/improvements

Try not to use the word 'then' too much just as a challenge 😊

Bu cevap yardımcı oldu mu?

Rusça

@stopthatsmine Thanks a lot!
If I understood correctly, you say, for example, " to help make " instead of " to help to make "?