- Basitleştirilmiş Çince (Çin)
-
İngilizce (ABD)
I'm preparing for GRE and English is my second language. Could someone help me check my essay to see if there are any grammar mistakes or awkward sentences? Thank you~
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
HERE's my essay:
Many people believe that formal education tends to undermine creativity and innovation among students. However, if universities and schools provide enough space for students to choose their paths, formal education can offer time and resources for students to truly commit to their interested fields and innovate great things.
In some places, formal education is very rigid and could potentially hinder students' ability to innovate or pursue their own interests. China, for example, has a very strict education system. Parents want their children to get high scores because it is the only reference for universities to admit students. No matter how well you do in other fields, as long as you do not get good scores, you would lose your chance to apply to a university. Without a bachelor's degree, no companies or schools would risk investing in you. With such fierce competition, there is no room for students to truly have a hobby and develop it into something extraordinary. In other words, formal education occupies all the energy students have, leaving no time for students to invent something fruitful. Moreover, the content of formal education's subjects restrains student's minds, too. For instance, history and politics are too one-sided and do not condone controversial thinking. Even in objective fields, such as math and physics, there are few experiments but lots of formulas and inflexible methods for students to merely remember, instead of understanding the logic behind them.
Formal education, however, differs from country to country. In America, for instance, the educational system obtains more flexibility(also more expensive, though). Students are entitled to choose some of their subjects in high schools. Furthermore, universities take a variety of elements into account; students' grades in high school, SAT scores, letters of recommendation, personal achievements, etc. This way, students are condoned to score low in SAT if they devote lots of time in a specific field and obtain some valuable achievements.
In conclusion, I believe that formal education will restrain students' minds and spirits if the educational system itself is obsolete and thus problematic. However, a healthy formal educational system would provide a sound environment whereby students would have enough discretion to pursue their interested fields of study and therefore encourages innovation and free thought.
bu doğru görünüyor mu?
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
HERE's my essay:
Many people believe that formal education tends to undermine creativity and innovation among students. However, if universities and schools provide enough space for students to choose their paths, formal education can offer time and resources for students to truly commit to their interested fields and innovate great things.
In some places, formal education is very rigid and could potentially hinder students' ability to innovate or pursue their own interests. China, for example, has a very strict education system. Parents want their children to get high scores because it is the only reference for universities to admit students. No matter how well you do in other fields, as long as you do not get good scores, you would lose your chance to apply to a university. Without a bachelor's degree, no companies or schools would risk investing in you. With such fierce competition, there is no room for students to truly have a hobby and develop it into something extraordinary. In other words, formal education occupies all the energy students have, leaving no time for students to invent something fruitful. Moreover, the content of formal education's subjects restrains student's minds, too. For instance, history and politics are too one-sided and do not condone controversial thinking. Even in objective fields, such as math and physics, there are few experiments but lots of formulas and inflexible methods for students to merely remember, instead of understanding the logic behind them.
Formal education, however, differs from country to country. In America, for instance, the educational system obtains more flexibility(also more expensive, though). Students are entitled to choose some of their subjects in high schools. Furthermore, universities take a variety of elements into account; students' grades in high school, SAT scores, letters of recommendation, personal achievements, etc. This way, students are condoned to score low in SAT if they devote lots of time in a specific field and obtain some valuable achievements.
In conclusion, I believe that formal education will restrain students' minds and spirits if the educational system itself is obsolete and thus problematic. However, a healthy formal educational system would provide a sound environment whereby students would have enough discretion to pursue their interested fields of study and therefore encourages innovation and free thought.
bu doğru görünüyor mu?
- İngilizce (ABD)
- Arapça Akıcıya Yakın
Birazcık yanlış
I'm preparing for GRE and English is my second language.
Could someone help me check my essay to see if there are any grammar mistakes or awkward sentences?
Thank you~
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
HERE's my essay:
Many people believe that formal education tends to undermine creativity and innovation among students.
However, if universities and schools provide enough space for students to choose their paths, formal education can offer time and resources for students to truly commit to their interested fields and innovate great things.
In some places, formal education is very rigid and could potentially hinder students' ability to innovate or pursue their own interests.
China, for example, has a very strict education system.
Parents want their children to get high scores because it is the only reference for universities to admit students.
No matter how well you do in other fields, as long as you do not get good scores, you would lose your chance to apply to a university.
Without a bachelor's degree, no companies or schools would risk investing in you.
WithThere such fierce competition, there is no room for students to truly have a hobby with such fierce competition and develop it into something extraordinary.
WithThere such fierce competition, there is no room for students to truly have a hobby with such fierce competition and develop it into something extraordinary.
In other words, formal education occupies all the energy students have, leaving no time for students to invent something fruitful.
Moreover, the content of formal education's subjects restrains student's minds, too.
For instance, history and politics are too one-sided and do not condone controversial thinking.
Even in objective fields, such as math and physics, there are few experiments but lotsmany of formulas and inflexible methods for students to merely remember, instead of understanding thetheir logic behind them.
Even in objective fields, such as math and physics, there are few experiments but lotsmany of formulas and inflexible methods for students to merely remember, instead of understanding thetheir logic behind them.
Formal education, however, differs from country to country.
In America, for instance, the educational system obtains more flexibility. (It is also more expensive, thoughhowever.).
In America, for instance, the educational system obtains more flexibility. (It is also more expensive, thoughhowever.).
Students are entitled to choose some of their subjects in high schoolsschool.
Students are entitled to choose some of their subjects in high schoolsschool.
Furthermore, universities take a variety of elements into account;, such as students' grades in high school, SAT scores, letters of recommendation, personal achievements, etc.
Furthermore, universities take a variety of elements into account;, such as students' grades in high school, SAT scores, letters of recommendation, personal achievements, etc.
ThisIn this way, students are condoned to score low in the SAT if they devote lotsplenty of time in a specific field and obtain some valuable achievements.
ThisIn this way, students are condoned to score low in the SAT if they devote lotsplenty of time in a specific field and obtain some valuable achievements.
In conclusion, I believe that formal education will restrain students' minds and spirits if the educational system itself is obsolete and thus problematic.
However, a healthy formal educational system would provide a sound environment. wherebyStudents students would have enough discretion to pursue their interested fields of study and therefore encouragesencourage innovation and free thought.
However, a healthy formal educational system would provide a sound environment. wherebyStudents students would have enough discretion to pursue their interested fields of study and therefore encouragesencourage innovation and free thought.
Bu cevap yardımcı oldu mu?
Açıkçası yanlış
Açıklama yeterli değil
Anlayamadığım bir dilde yazılmış
Cevap, soru ile ilgili değil
Diğer sebep
- İngilizce (ABD)
- Arapça Akıcıya Yakın
Birazcık yanlış
I'm preparing for GRE and English is my second language.
Could someone help me check my essay to see if there are any grammar mistakes or awkward sentences?
Thank you~
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
HERE's my essay:
Many people believe that formal education tends to undermine creativity and innovation among students.
However, if universities and schools provide enough space for students to choose their paths, formal education can offer time and resources for students to truly commit to their interested fields and innovate great things.
In some places, formal education is very rigid and could potentially hinder students' ability to innovate or pursue their own interests.
China, for example, has a very strict education system.
Parents want their children to get high scores because it is the only reference for universities to admit students.
No matter how well you do in other fields, as long as you do not get good scores, you would lose your chance to apply to a university.
Without a bachelor's degree, no companies or schools would risk investing in you.
WithThere such fierce competition, there is no room for students to truly have a hobby with such fierce competition and develop it into something extraordinary.
WithThere such fierce competition, there is no room for students to truly have a hobby with such fierce competition and develop it into something extraordinary.
In other words, formal education occupies all the energy students have, leaving no time for students to invent something fruitful.
Moreover, the content of formal education's subjects restrains student's minds, too.
For instance, history and politics are too one-sided and do not condone controversial thinking.
Even in objective fields, such as math and physics, there are few experiments but lotsmany of formulas and inflexible methods for students to merely remember, instead of understanding thetheir logic behind them.
Even in objective fields, such as math and physics, there are few experiments but lotsmany of formulas and inflexible methods for students to merely remember, instead of understanding thetheir logic behind them.
Formal education, however, differs from country to country.
In America, for instance, the educational system obtains more flexibility. (It is also more expensive, thoughhowever.).
In America, for instance, the educational system obtains more flexibility. (It is also more expensive, thoughhowever.).
Students are entitled to choose some of their subjects in high schoolsschool.
Students are entitled to choose some of their subjects in high schoolsschool.
Furthermore, universities take a variety of elements into account;, such as students' grades in high school, SAT scores, letters of recommendation, personal achievements, etc.
Furthermore, universities take a variety of elements into account;, such as students' grades in high school, SAT scores, letters of recommendation, personal achievements, etc.
ThisIn this way, students are condoned to score low in the SAT if they devote lotsplenty of time in a specific field and obtain some valuable achievements.
ThisIn this way, students are condoned to score low in the SAT if they devote lotsplenty of time in a specific field and obtain some valuable achievements.
In conclusion, I believe that formal education will restrain students' minds and spirits if the educational system itself is obsolete and thus problematic.
However, a healthy formal educational system would provide a sound environment. wherebyStudents students would have enough discretion to pursue their interested fields of study and therefore encouragesencourage innovation and free thought.
However, a healthy formal educational system would provide a sound environment. wherebyStudents students would have enough discretion to pursue their interested fields of study and therefore encouragesencourage innovation and free thought.
Try not to use the phrase "lots of" in your writing, especially in formal writing. It isn't very specific and doesn't sound very sophisticated. In addition, try to be succinct when writing, so that you won't develop wordy sentences that are hard to make out in your writing. Other than that, pretty good!
Bu cevap yardımcı oldu mu?
- Basitleştirilmiş Çince (Çin)
- İngilizce (ABD)
- Arapça Akıcıya Yakın
HiNative sayesinde, yazılarınızı öğrendiğiniz dili ana dil olarak konuşan kullanıcılara ücretsiz olarak düzelttirebilirsiniz ✍️✨.
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Bu sembol nedir?
Dil Seviyesi sembolü ilgilendiği dillerdeki yeterliğinizi gösterir. Dil Seviyenizi seçmek kullanıcılara anlaşılması kolay cevap yazmalarında yardımcı olur.
-
Acemi
Hedef dildeki soruların cevaplarını anlaması zor.
-
Acemi-Deneyimli
Basit sorular yapma kabiliyeti var. Basit cevapları anlayabilir.
-
Deneyimli
Her türlü genel soru sorabilecek kapasitede. Biraz uzun cevapları anlayabilir.
-
Uzman
Uzun karmaşık cevapları anlayabilecek kapasitede.
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Çok teşekkür ederim! Geri bildiriminiz büyük beğeni topluyor.
Try not to use the phrase "lots of" in your writing, especially in formal writing. It isn't very specific and doesn't sound very sophisticated. In addition, try to be succinct when writing, so that you won't develop wordy sentences that are hard to make out in your writing. Other than that, pretty good!