It has been nearly 5 years since we broke up, and I have been alone for the same time. Did the long break, with no intimate relationship transform me, from a cool and attractive boy who was always surrounded by girls, into a shy one, always with a fast-beating heart whenever standing in front of the girls I am into?

For the past 5 years, I did feel some girls attractive and want to talk to them more, but none of them ended up with even a date with me. To put more precisely, there was actually once. Still, I am not sure whether it was a date because we just had a small talk in 1 hour before another party with other guys. We chatted about various topics, ranging from childhood, hobbies, college, to the family of each other, or future goals. But those were all. Nothing continued then. It has been months since the day, and we are no longer in touch.

Today was not an exception. I happened to meet Na in a coffee shop I usually go to. I was surprised how accidentally it was to meet her there. She sat behind me for hours before I turned back and realized her existence. I took the chance. I knew that it might be the only chance for me, and if I did not go ahead, I would never see her again. Yet, as usual, I lost my confidence when I talked to her. She must have noticed it through my unconfident gesture, my shivering voice. It is said that men without confidence are not capable of attracting women. And I am among them.

I asked her if she had had dinner to invite her for a meal. Unluckily, she was not available. She had another meeting with her family coming right after in the evening. She was sorry, and suggested another time, but "another with our group, including other guys, to gather." Should I have asked her for another day going out with, of course, only me? Is it a rush to ask so? Anyway, I didn't. And probably there might be no chance like this for me for a while...